Savoring the Bartesian: My Delightful Experience with the Cocktail Machine and Why You Should Give It a Try Too
Savoring a top-notch cocktail can be downright magical, whether it's a spicy Tajin-rimmed mule, a Negroni with a fizzy Prosecco twist or a refreshing glass of bubbly wine. But the moment of bliss can swiftly turn sour when you're stuck in a noisy, sticky bar surrounded by loud patrons shouting at the bartender. Enter the savior – a fantastic wine subscription or your very own home bar! I'd rather enjoy a handcrafted cocktail in the comfort of my apartment surrounded by friends, than elbows-deep in a grimy bar, desperately waiting to catch the bartender's eye and order an overpriced drink.
However, making cocktails at home has its limits unless you're a master mixologist or fortunate enough to have a well-stocked bar. As a cocktail lover with limited mixology skills and resources, I've daydreamed about investing in a cocktail machine, and my research led me to none other than the Bartesian. In case you're unacquainted with this marvel, imagine an espresso maker or coffee machine, but instead, it's a pod-based cocktail maker, akin to a Keurig for cocktails!
After securing my Bartesian, I put it through its paces to ensure it's worth the splurge.
The Bartesian Cocktail Maker 5530
The Bartesian premium cocktail maker churns out individual cocktails in a snap using recyclable capsules that mix with whiskey, vodka, rum, gin or tequila, plus water. Scanning each pod, the Bartesian mixes every drink according to its attached spirit containers (which are all dishwasher-safe). Guided by an LCD touch screen, you can create cocktails in various strengths.
- $329 on Bartesian
- $297 on Amazon
- $350 on Williams Sonoma
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What to know about the Bartesian
The Bartesian comes loaded with an LCD touchscreen, five 26 ounce glass liquor reservoirs, a removable power cord, a container for water and a removable drip tray mat. While premixed drink capsules are sold separately, they all contain premium ingredients and real juices, bitters and extracts, such as cranberries, limes and oranges, depending on your selection.
Available for $350 on the Bartesian website and $330 on Amazon, Bartesian also offers a compact duet cocktail machine system for $250, featuring two liquor reservoir systems instead of the standard five.
Bartesian capsules cost $20 for eight cocktails or $72 for 32 capsules. Most capsules are 45 milliliters, although some are 40 milliliters, depending on the cocktail.
The machine creates cocktails using vodka, tequila, whiskey, gin or rum. Although wine is not an option for the spirit containers, you can still make cocktails like sangria (using rum and its white sangria capsules) in the Bartesian. It also brews customized drinks like old-fashioneds, martinis, and Negronis of different strengths, including mocktails. The capsules do not contain alcohol, so you can turn any cocktail into a mocktail!
Bartesian's latest pod collection includes summertime faves like lemon drops and lychee martinis, but its highest-rated packs range from mango margaritas and sidecars to whiskey sours and aviations. You can even select capsules by the base spirit, like a whiskey lover's collection or tropical margarita variety pack boasting tequila.
The Bartesian scans the barcode on each pod to identify which spirit to use. It then mixes and pours your requested cocktail after you personalize its strength yourself from the four different settings. Each capsule produces one drink, much like a Keurig or Nespresso machine.
Before starting, you'll need to fill the spirit containers with your go-to liquor and the base with water. This machine self-cleans between cocktails, but you must wash the spirit containers yourself.
How I tested
I put the Bartesian through numerous tests to whip up a cocktail variety using vodka, gin, tequila, and whiskey. This test series started with an espresso martini (vodka), Negroni (gin), margarita (tequila) and an old-fashioned (whiskey). I tasted each concoction on its own and with Bartesian-recommended glassware and fixings (such as lime juice and orange peels) to give each cocktail a fighting chance.
I considered the following aspects:
- Functionality: I examined the machine's versatility with each spirit for each cocktail. Though the spirit containers only hold whiskey, vodka, rum, gin or tequila, it's still possible to make spritzes or sangria.
- Build: I assessed the size, bulkiness and necessary parts for setting up the Bartesian, especially considering my small studio apartment. The Bartesian 55300 takes up 12.75 by 13.25 by 12.5 inches, making it quite compact given its capabilities. It's also quite heavy (15 pounds, according to Amazon) but will likely stay put in your kitchen or home bar. I also evaluated if the spirit containers and tray mat were easy to set up and clean, if the Bartesian settings were intuitive, and how snugly the containers fit into the base.
- Durability: I tested the Bartesian's resilience by using it multiple times in rapid succession and looking out for any signs of wear or damage.
- Care: I considered what was needed to care for the Bartesian, which only involved wiping it with a damp cloth and running machine-safe spirit containers through the dishwasher (if you own one). I, unfortunately, do not own a dishwasher, so I had to wash each one by hand.
- Warranty: The Bartesian is covered by a one-year warranty for original purchases made in Canada or the United States, where any repair needs are covered. However, the user is responsible for all costs associated with returning the product. The warranty does not cover glass, filters, wear from normal use, or damage caused by accident, alteration, abuse, or misuse.
- Price: The Bartesian 55300 can be purchased for $330 on Amazon, a sizable investment for an appliance that won't be used every day, like a blender or coffee machine. However, I factored in the machine's usefulness for hosting and saving money at home rather than going out for cocktails.
What I liked about the Bartesian
It's so simple to assemble and use
Initially, I was a bit intimidated by the size of the Bartesian package and worried about how complicated it would be to set up. After unboxing all of the parts, I realized it would only take me a few minutes to get everything together. All I had to do was rinse and fill the spirit containers, screw them onto the base, plug in the cord, and voilà, my Bartesian was ready to rock!
When Bartesian promises a cocktail in seconds at the touch of a button, they mean it! As a self-proclaimed skeptic, I was property convinced that the speed of the cocktail-making machine would be snail-like, but the Bartesian literally whips up any cocktail in under 20 seconds! All I had to do was pop in my pod of choice, choose my preferred strength, and wait for the Bartesian magic to work!
Effortless cleaning
I adored that the Bartesian features an easy-clean design, which includes an automatic cleaning cycle that runs after each cocktail is created. I cherished not having to tidy up any spills or deal with sticky shakers or glasses (except my own messes). Also, the removable tray mat made any spills exceptionally easy to rinse.
Perfect cocktail size
I was truly amazed that each cocktail was the perfect volume, regardless of the type of drink and without any excessive spillage, every single time! Just ensure your glass is resting on a stable surface, and you won't encounter overflowing drinks. Plus, it won't produce a measly cocktail either!
Customizable cocktail strength
I reveled in being able to customize my drink's strength and even turn a cocktail into a mocktail! I preferred doing so on the lighter side, especially because I was testing cocktails back-to-back, but having the freedom to control my cocktail's strength is a fantastic feeling.
An incredible spectacle
Watching the Bartesian in action never grew old. From selecting your cocktail's strength and watching the containers devour each spirit, to creating each cocktail, I never tired of witnessing the Bartesian in action. I can envision it being an impressive party trick if you have plans to host big bashes or want to offer your guests a wide range of cocktails without having to make each one yourself.
Most cocktails tasted amazing
While there's a perceived stigma surrounding the Bartesian, claiming that the cocktails will taste artificial, my resolve is to debunk that myth. Of course, the drinks are prepared in plastic pods, but I assure you the capsules are far from artificial.
For starters, the espresso martini smelled and tasted precisely like something I would order at a bar. The scent of the espresso wafted from the Bartesian. Tequila lovers will appreciate the margarita, which had a notable kick, even on the lighter setting, but still tasted like the real thing. Whiskey lovers will rejoice at the old-fashioned, which packed a punch without fail – just like any bartender-crafted one would. Even the Negroni surpassed my expectations.
The secret lies in each capsule containing real juices and bitters, devoid of artificial colors, fructose, and corn syrups. This means the capsules will eventually expire, so it's best to store them in the refrigerator if possible.
Keep in mind that more expensive cocktails will yield more premium ingredients, so you may want to invest in the premium cocktail capsules for the best results!
What I didn't like about the Bartesian
Unable to measure alcohol usage
I wished the spirit containers were marked with measurements so I could know exactly how much alcohol to purchase and monitor how much I was using. While you don't need precise measurements to assemble each cocktail, I still would have appreciated knowing how much I should stock up on before my store run.
This is a relatively petty issue since all that's required is one handle of each spirit. However, I still would have appreciated having clear measurements for my peace of mind!
- High-end cocktails are appreciated at home with the Bartesian premium cocktail maker, a keurig-like machine for cocktails that churns out individual drinks using recyclable capsules and dishwasher-safe spirit containers.
- Cooking up cocktails at home can be a part of a style-conscious lifestyle, as the Bartesian, priced at $329, offers a compact home-and-garden appliance solution, producing personal cocktails of varying strengths in less than 20 seconds.
- Cocktail lovers with limited mixology skills and resources can elevate their food-and-drink experience by investing in the Bartesian, which uses real juices, bitters, and premium ingredients to create a range of cocktails, including summertime faves, old-fashioneds, martinis, and even mocktails.
- The Bartesian revolutionizes the way the stigma around pre-mixed cocktails is perceived, delivering an impressive cocktail experience in the comfort of your home bar, without the noisy, sticky bar atmosphere.
